True Happiness Teachings

We all want to have more happy, joyful moments in our life, but how do we accomplish this?

Can it be as easy as copying the behaviour of those who are happy? Or, are things that make us happy vastly different?

If your immediate answer to the last question is a firm ‘Yes’ – things that make us happy are indeed very different – then we also see that simple copy-paste is not enough. What is bringing happiness to someone else may not bring the same feeling to us.

Let’s look at the following examples which may confirm this assumption.

If someone feels happy after jumping out of the airplane, and another person while cooking, these two ways of feeling happy are very different. One is more about breaking the limits of fear, while another is more about peaceful contentment. Someone may also feel happy to win in academic triathlons, or get recognition for expertise at work. These feelings of happiness have to do with achievement and appreciation, which are again very different.

We may also argue that the answer to the question is ‘No’ – what makes us happy is not that different. Aren’t we all happy when we are recognized at work, and don’t we all want at least a little excitement, as well as peacefulness, in our lives?

Although this may be true, the real question is what is really important to us. Even though we wouldn’t be jumping out of the airplane in any near future we may still feel quite happy, while for someone else happiness without excitement is not happiness at all.

What makes us happy seems to be closely related to knowing what we like to do and bringing more of it into our life. So what is it that you enjoy doing? What is it that you want more of?

We may think that this is an easy question, but it may be more convoluted than it seems. The sad truth is that not many people know – or even want to think about – what they want. In fact, this is pretty understandable. If we believe not being able to have it, than thinking about it brings just more suffering. So, paradoxically we push these thoughts away from our mind.

And even if we do know concretely what will make us happy, it still doesn’t mean that we are. If we are surrounded with difficult situations, how can we be?

This is why in this workshop, besides learning about our joy-type – which makes it easier to understand what naturally makes us happy according to our personality type – we will also consider main reasons that prevent us from feeling happiness. This will allow us to feel happiness in a more conscious and lasting manner.

Note: More on joy types you can find in Ivana’s book Live Your True Calling, available at ivanabooks.com

 

Improve Your Job Satisfaction by Maximizing Your Potential

picAt the beginning of your life, you may had many different ideas on who you wanted to be. There seemed to be endless possibilities and it was difficult to choose. You could be a pilot, a ballerina, a singer, a father, a football player, a dancer or a cowboy. As you grew up, other things started to matter. Like being respected by others, or providing for your family. You chose in accordance to these preferences, and somewhere along the way ended up at the job you currently have.

So, how do you feel at your current job?

Is it like you imagined before you started to work there, or is it far from your expectations?

Be honest with yourself. After all, no change can come if we deny our truth.

OK, so your current situation may not be that bad and you may find a lot of benefits. Yes, you enjoy spending time with your colleagues. You even like what you are doing, but suddenly there seems to be something missing that you didn’t notice before. You cannot directly point to what is wrong, but you feel there is more for you than this. Or maybe this dissatisfaction wasn’t so sudden. Maybe you knew it all along. You don’t know how to change or what to change and if it is even possible for you. It’s frightening to consider a big change, especially if you were at the similar situation for quite some time.

No matter your answer, you feel there is something to improve and be more satisfied with where you are. One step to improving our situation would be to know our natural gifts and tendencies.

What is it that I naturally do good? Turns out this is not as easy to discover, since we often undervalue our gifts thinking they are not that great. Since using our gifts is so easy for us, we wrongly assume it is equally easy for others.

Another step is knowing what you want and what is important that your job provides for you. This means knowing not just your gifts, but your personality type. If it is money that is important to you – how much money would you like? If you want to be an expert, what kind of expert would you like to be? Be specific.

The third step is understanding which career path would encompass these preferences and what would be the best way to get there from where you are. There may be some obstacles to overcome, but as it turns out, by addressing and confronting them we get to our destination faster.

These concepts may be pretty simple, but they may not be as easy to implement. Hope you can join us in Improve Your Job Satisfaction by Maximizing Your Potential workshop to start your discovery and the best way for you.

Note: Currently workshops are held in MOTIVATE Shanghai Community

 

 

No freedom, no happiness

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In today’s society there’s rarely an outside force preventing us to do what we want, and yet… We so rarely do it.

We don’t even LIKE to think about what we really want, thinking we cannot have it anyway. Why suffer more?

Thinking about what we REALLY want brings out many insecurities and paralyzing questions.

What if I don’t really know what’s the best for me? What if others know better?
What if my choices hurt other people?
What if I decide on what I want and then realize that I cannot have it?

This is why it’s easier to allow others to decide for us. Is the food I eat good for my health? What sport should I play? What job should I do?

After all, if others decide instead of me and something goes wrong, it’s theirs fault. We were just doing what they suggested.
But is this lack of  responsibility really the path to our happiness?
The answer from my experience is a definite no.

By refusing to make our own choices, how can we even get what we want?

We are the only ones who know what makes our soul sing. No one can make this decision instead of us. It’s our own work.
And once we decide what it is that we want, we may still feel unhappy.  I know… But knowing that freedom and happiness come hand in hand, we may focus on freedom.

What it is that makes us feel free? Simply, it is knowing that we DO have a choice.

If we want to feel free at work, we need to feel we have a choice to quit our job.
If we want to feel free in our relationship, we need to feel we have a choice to leave and be alone, or to be with anyone else.
If we want to feel free with our finances, we need to feel free to go bankrupt.

As long as we think that we don’t have a choice, or if there is a fear of one of the choices, we won’t feel free and we won’t feel happy.

For more on this topic check facebook live video:


Any questions/comments?

Was it really ‘meant to be’?

pathThe first step to creating the life we want is to take responsibility for where we are.

Our own choices brought us here and there’s no one to blame.

We didn’t travel as much as we wanted.

We didn’t finish that school, but something else.

We earn that much money, and not more.

We married (or didn’t marry) that person.

We cannot blame the government, nor the politics.

It’s not our parent’s fault. It’s not our grandmother’s fault, nor our neighbour’s.

If we think that someone else is responsible for where we are, we will understand that we can create the life we want. We will always be the victim of that situation or that person. There will be always someone to blame.

As hard as it is to accept that we did have a choice and it got us exactly where we are, it is a starting point of living differently.

Once we start realizing powerful our choices are, we’ll realize our own power.

For more on this topic watch facebook live video:

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Why did I become a life coach?

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The short answer is: because I felt I was dying. Today I call this feeling inner death.

What does this feeling mean?  It means:

-waiting for the things to pass, instead of being excited about what’s coming

-that all days starting to merge into one long gray day

-feeling you were meant to do more, but knowing that you are not doing it

-knowing that if you continue; if you live one more day like this, some very important part of you will die.

I wanted higher meaning for my life. I didn’t want it to just pass.

And I didn’t want to be a walking zombie, as so many people around me seem to be. There was something really wrong with our way of living, and I felt it was somehow connected with what we did to make ourselves happy.

We would just blindly follow the crowd, thinking that it will make us happy.

They told me I’ll be happy if I manage to enroll to a good University. I did.

Then they told me that in order to be happy, I needed to finish it. I did.

Then they told me that I needed to find a really good, high paying job. Did that as well.

They told me that I need to get married. And I did, pretty early.

And was I happy? Even though that was all great, nothing gave me the feeling of living the life I truly wanted.

Finishing challenging University couldn’t make me happy. Finding a well paying job couldn’t either. And no – finding a great, wonderful husband didn’t do it either. 

It wasn’t because my husband is not my true soulmate. He is.

It is because in order to feel happy, we need to have high enough vision for our life which motivates us every day. This vision needs to moves us forward and makes us do the actions every day that speak to our heart.

If we don’t do inspiring actions every day, no matter how abundant we are on the outside, we will not feel happiness. Not even our spouse can do it for us. We need to do it by using the inside approach.

Otherwise, we will start dying from the inside.

This is what made me become a life coach. It was a heart inspired action, which led me to fulfill my higher vision: helping people get more conscious and living better lives.

 

You can read more about the importance of the inside approach in my book: http://a.co/eWZuPGi

Through the darkest moments

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In our life, there is a period of time I like to call an emotional bottom. During that time, we experience our darkest moments. We are doubting everyone and everything, trying to decide if this life is really worth it.

I had also hit my emotional bottom and was rolling in it more than I’m willing to admit. Many people don’t know this, but when I was in high school, I went through a period of serious depression.

I was hiding it so well, that even members of my family didn’t know. Or, didn’t really think it was that grave.

I remember once crying in public, and realizing that no one saw me. Even when I showed my hurt on the outside, they didn’t notice, my dark side whispered. No point in talking to anyone and explaining. If they really cared, they would notice me crying. And, they obviously didn’t.

I felt completely invisible, and at that dark time, not a day went by when I didn’t think about taking my own life.

I clearly remember thinking: I wasn’t really meant to be born. First kittens are thrown into the water, after all.

This is a saying in my country (how funny that I was comparing myself with kittens I so adore:))). I was firstborn, and this saying made me think that I wasn’t meant to be born.  I believed to have some defect my sisters didn’t.

I also thought: Nobody would notice if I were gone. My family will eventually recover. Two other daughters will keep my parents fulfilled, and my sisters will have each other. 

People around me didn’t make me change my mind. So, what did?

In our darkest moments, I believe that we so clearly see our weakest point which I divide into two categories: inward and outward.

The inward weakest point means that at our darkest, we are more prone to turn against ourselves, and outward that we are more prone to turn against the world around us.

It is important to realize that both of these weak points come from the inside, and inside approach should be used to solve it. This is why I don’t blame anyone around me. Even though they could assist me, they couldn’t solve it instead of me. I needed to go in my dark place and confront it. It was the only way.

Although inward and outward weak points are pretty similar, they are not the same. Me, having outward weak point meant that even in my very darkest, I couldn’t turn against myself completely. Just like the first born kitten, I felt I was born being different from other kittens, but that didn’t mean that I was blaming myself. No, I was blaming the world, God or anyone who had put me in this hostile place. I felt alone and alienated, having only myself.

In the end, this is what got me out of my depression. No matter how hard I tried to decrease my value, I couldn’t turn against me all the way. I decided to give a world one more chance to prove me wrong, which has kept me above the water long enough to go to the University and for everything to change.

I also worked with people whose weakest point is inward. They are more likely to turn against themselves in every dark moment of their lives and live in guilt and blame.

They can be pulled out of their darkness by recognizing the beauty of this world, which is usually not lost on them. They can see others having what they want but suffer for not having it instead. If they stay opened enough to a possibility of receiving it too, they would also be able to leave their dark place.

Today, I look at my darkest times as crucial. It would not be the same without it, and I needed to go through it.

The truth is: when we hit our bottom we are given the opportunity to make peace with all parts of us. Without going to our dark place, we would not be able to shine as bright, not afraid of our darkness. Only by consciously deciding on living our life, we are given the opportunity to create it.

 

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Want to change your own life for the better?  Check out my book Lessons from Snow White or go to: ivanapazek.com to learn more about my programs.

#lessonsfromsnowwhite

Is spirituality boring?

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Really: Is it? I realized that I did believe in this, and didn’t want to be spiritual because of it. (Or at least, not more than I already was:)) Who knows when I’ll ran out of luck and become boring?)

Why would we even see spirituality as being boring?

I believe this was programmed in me since I was little. Spiritual people were then just priests for me, and I would easily get bored in a church. It figures: I wanted to play instead of being in (mostly) silent place and sitting in the same place for a long hour.

Also, priests seem to always be quiet and timid. Later I realized that calm and kind may have been more like it, but still I couldn’t connect fun with it.

Now, when I realize that religion and spirituality aren’t one and the same, I met many different kinds of spiritual people. Even though not all were as quiet, they seem to miss some important fun quality.

I wasn’t sure what it exactly was at first. I could easily recognize their magnificence. They were trying to make this world a better place. They were kind. They were nice. They were different in some new good way. They loved helping others.

Still, I didn’t feel like I would want to be exactly like them. There seem to be something missing.

Today I believe that although they were great as people, for some reason they didn’t translate it completely to others.

Makes sense, since in order to help others these people need to have a good opinion about us. If we would show every mistake we make, have fun without a care in the world, would people still trust us to solve their problems?

I see that connecting spirituality just with closed off people, who give limited information about themselves to live up to the expectations of others is becoming thing of the past.

Spiritual people are becoming more and more transparent, showing they are human. They make mistakes, they live their own lives, and are not here just for others. They are here to live their own lives, with all it’s lessons and ups and downs.

So, can fun and spirituality really go together? 

I realized that if I really wanted to live as I teach others, by living my ideal life, there is no other way. Having fun and helping others is the only possible path for me, and those who really want to work with me recognize it.

 

Loving this? Comment below or share it with your friends!

Want to change your own life for the better?  Check out my book Lessons from Snow White or go to: ivanapazek.com to learn more about my programs.

#lessonsfromsnowwhite